Friday, June 10, 2011

Dear Patrick the Blah,

We went out on Monday night. I turned heads.  You did not.

I've gotta get ready for date 2 with outback so I'm going to keep this simple for you:

1 - you should not constantly be talking about going to the gym, if you are medically considered overweight/obese. if you work out that much, and have yet to lose any weight, you are doing something wrong.
2 - your car is a two door charger.  I don't have a problem with the charger. I have a problem with you buying a 2 door one.  You are in your 30s.  Your car should be a nice sedan or SUV, or a really nice sports car.  The charger kinda tells me you are trashy in your tastes.
3 - do you not have single hobby or friend.  I spent the time talking about friends, traveling, activities.  You talked about your brother in fayetteville.  I suggest you develop both friends and hobbies. You aren't new to this town, you went to both undergrad and grad school here.  Where are your friends?!?!
4 - back to the car thing.  I hate to beat a dead horse here, but you told me that for the past 7 years you drove a car without air conditioning.  We live in the south.  We have summer 8 months a year.  You drive a minimum of 2 hours a day in your car you said.  SO WTF?!?! I think you are probably super cheap, in which case I am not the girl for you.  I'm a cheap date, but not that cheap. Geeze.
5 - do you think you could have tucked your shirt in for our date?  I mean, if you weren't going to take the clothes to the dry cleaner, you would think u could class it up.  Just a little.


He's asked me out a few times since then.  I've been busy, asleep, or "tired."  Read: uninterested

best of luck Patrick, you seem like a nice enough guy.  But in the words of A: I would eat you for breakfast.

-W

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