It has come to my attention that guys are sneaky. Shock. I know. But hear me out. I have recently found myself in a pseudo-relationship that I don't want to be in.
On my last date with DDS, he came to Raleigh. Fine. Wonderful. But he arrived two hours later than he was supposed to get here. Party foul. Here's why. I skipped lunch because we were going to have an early dinner. So I couldn't wait til freaking 9pm to eat. So I had to hop on over to Wendy's for a cheeseburger and fries before the date. I was not a happy camper.
So anyway, during the date DDS brings up my religious views. Up until this point, I thought we were pretty much on the same page. We both go to church every sunday. We both view God as an important part of our lives. He's Catholic, I'm Southern Baptist, but neither one of us holds denominations as uber important. So I was shocked when he asked me
"So are you so narrow-minded as to think that the only people going to heaven are Christians?"
Um, DDS, that's kinda the point. That's the whole basis of Christianity. The Bible is pretty clear that it's Jesus or Hell. I mean, if you could get to heaven any other way, then what is the point of Jesus dying on the cross?
So, I'm sitting there. And for starters, I can't believe he just called me narrow-minded about beliefs he knows are very important to me. You don't name call with people's beliefs. I don't care if they believe in pink elephants, you respect their beliefs. And second, fundamental religious views are dealbreakers, no matter what your religion.
Therefore, later on that night, he spent the night. Probably because it was 3 hours back home, and he was completely oblivious to my new disdain for him. So we're sitting in bed, and he says "so I like you a lot. I don't think we should see other people."
In my head I was going "NOOOOOO. don't bring this up now!!!" But I said nothing. So that got things really awkward really fast. So DDS started backtracking and saying things "well we don't have to be dating dating, just dating." WTF?
So I halfheartedly agreed. Why? Because he had just pulled the exclusivity trap. This is a method employed by guys the world over to trap girls into relationships. In my unscientific poll of friends, 3 out of 3 of us had started our relationships in exactly this manner. (Sam's club had pulled the same card too!)
Situation:
- Both in bed. So there is a slumber party happening. You don't even have to be fooling around. You are probably just wanting to fall asleep when he brings up the relationship talk.
- The relationship talk usually consists of a "what are we?" followed by an "i want to be exclusive" discussion.
- At this point the girl has two options. Agree and be trapped into a relationship. Or Disagree and 1. feel like a whore because she is spending the night with someone she doesn't even want to date or 2. make things really awkward for the next eight hours.
It's like the ultimate ninja-mind trap. And the reverse doesn't happen because girls rarely bring up the relationship talk. And because if they tried the in-the-bed discussion, it wouldn't really work because guys are missing the "i feel like a whore today" gene.
Sigh. So there, I've warned you. Beware of having slumber parties with anyone you don't actually want to date. Because they might trap you and you might have to spend a week figuring out how to breakup with someone you didn't want to date in the first place.
-W
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