Dear A,

Thanks for the DLND love!  Don't you just love guys thinking that a few $10 cocktails will do the trick?  Sorry, players, but you start talking conspiracy theories on the first date, and the chastity belt will remain tightly fastened!  If you have any other dating disasters, please send them my way to post!  I loved that story. I especially love that he felt the need to "breakup" after one date.  Holy nutjob.

Now, let's discuss one of the more recent men in your life: Mr.8pack.  Mr. 8pack, I can see, obviously why you like him so.  I mean, he's got that V going on, and abs are nice to look at.  But, he's only going to be a fling.  How do I know?  Because he is more high maintenance than any girl I know.  And when guys are that into themselves, they can't really be that into you. Hello, red flag.

 Plus, you always want to be the better looking one in the relationship, and I honestly don't know how you can compete with an 8pack.  I work out halfheartedly several times a week and my abs look nothing like that, and probably never will.  Perhaps a boob job. I dunno.

But I wholeheartedly endorse having a little ego-boosting attention from someone with a body like that.
In addition, the perks of going out with Mr. 8pack include being able to casually show future boyfriends pictures like this one, to induce a little less beer and a lot more workouts, you know?

So, there you go, A.  Completely unsolicited dating advice from a stranger. Have fun in Paris!

-W