Oh Eharmony. You did it again. You sent me not one but two matches that I already knew. This is in addition to the matches that have mutual friends with me.
First, you matched me with Brian, H's ex. H dated Brian throughout college, so I knew a lot about Brian from H. H & I went to Spring Break in Vegas our senior year. Upon our return, Brian dumped H out of the blue. It was really random, but given that Brian was a dead weight around H's neck, I was relieved.
Seriously, H was my bff, but I had met Brian on two, maybe three occasions. Seriously, the dude was a complete introvert. He never went to parties with us. Ever. He wouldn't even be her date to AKPsi functions. It was really strange, and we often wondered how someone so outgoing as H would be with a hermit.
Well imagine my surprise when I clicked on my new matches and saw his face. HOLY SHIT, I exclaimed. Immediately, I called Holly. No answer. (it was roughly around 3 on a Friday, so she was still at work). I texted her to CALL ME BACK ASAP.
So, she got out of her meeting with her VP. Because this was some important stuff. So I read her Brian's profile. It was hilarious. He mentioned at least 10 times how much he liked to hang out with friends. What friends, Brian? If you don't have friends in college, you'll never have them. And then there were the numerous mentions of how much he enjoyed going out and drinking. The two things he HATED in college. Seriously, it was the most complete BS profile ever. Further, he listed his occupation as student. The last we heard, he was managing Applebee's... Aim high, Brian. And, he listed himself as a year younger than he actually is. Awesome.
Then today, I got matched with a guy I went to high school and college with and the guy I gave the nickname of Peaches (not really sure why). Poor peaches. Nice guy, but no thanks eharmony.
-W
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