Dear Matt the Trickster,

In law school, a group of friends, including yourself frequented Outback Steakhouse.  We went there several times a month.  So when you invited me, I assumed everyone else was going.  I thought it a little weird when you asked if you could pick me up, but I politely declined and said I would meet you there.

Imagine my shock and dismay when you tell me upon my arrival that we would be dining alone that night.  But hey, its outback. How bad could it be.  So we are eating our cheese fries, chit chatting, etc.  I am mid-sentence asking you about your girlfriend back in China (a pattern in my life, I'm aware) when you blurt out "I have been in love with you since the day we met."

Shut.The.Front.Door.

Did that seriously just come out of your mouth?  Yes, yes in fact, it did. Sigh.  So now I sit there, mouth agape, through the rest of dinner, where you continue to profess your deep love for me.  So very awk.

I try to nip this in the bud, by repeatedly asking about your girlfriend.  You have the balls to say to me "I'll dump her if you want me to."  Seriously?  How romantic of you, to hedge your bets like that.

So somehow dinner ends and I make my escape. I tried my best to not be completely rude, but to make it clear, that sorry I was not interested.

But you were not dissuaded in the least.  A few weeks later when Valentine's Day rolls around, you ask me for my address. What for, I wanted to know.  You wanted to send me something. I suggested you not send me anything unless you send the same to your GIRLFRIEND IN CHINA.  You didn't get the hint and on Valentine's Day I arrived home to find a dozen or two red roses delivered. From you. How sweet.  I was still not interested.

Eventually you got the hint.  But instead of taking rejection like a man, you proceeded to tell everyone at the law school how I "led you on" and told you that I "had feelings for you."  And then you refused to be at any party I was attending for the ENTIRE 2L year.  IE- after you had a summer to get over me.

You, Matt, are a piece of work.  And next time, if you have to trick a girl into going to dinner with you, it means she's just not that into you. Period.

-W