I remember you having one really awkward phone call with me, before you turned psycho. As it happens, one of my friends D, is also on eharmony, and she mentioned talking to a guy named Ryan. I warned her, and as it turns out, you had creeped her out as well.
Here are the creep factors you never explained to her: you changed your profile to say you are a lawyer. You are not a lawyer. You work at a church, and it is unclear if you ever graduated with a degree in Parks & Tourism (read: one of the easiest degrees ever to walk the face of earth). I mean great, tell a girl you are lawyer, and I guess she'll be impressed. Or really pissed off when she figures out that you are actually a nutjob who lies about his profession to get a date. If you don't like what you do for a living, own it and change it.
You also failed to mention to D that you live with your mother. For real. Again, no shame in that, but given that you are pushing 30, you should probably disclose that fact. Lots of girls won't date guys who don't have their shit together. And living with your mom is likely a sign of not having your shit together.
So a bit of final advice for you Ryan. Neither D nor I will be going out with you. Turns out girls like us won't date creepers who lie about their education, profession, and living situation.
All the best,
W & D
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