Dear PDA,

We met on the party bus on the way to the beach music festival.  I believe that you were still drunk from the night before.  You were way overdressed for TMBF, wearing a button down and jeans.  But yet, your button down was probably the most wrinkled thing I'd ever seen in my life.  Needless to say, I was unimpressed.

Everyone else started playing drinking games, but since I was drinking mixed drinks and not beer, I decided to pace myself and sit and people watch.  I guess that you took that as an invitation to park yourself next to me for the next 6 hours. Literally. Right next to me. Even when I switched seats, you switched to be right next to me. Numerous times.  Seriously,  I was texting other people on the roster right in front of you, and yet you persisted.

We don't have much in common, other than I am a lawyer and you are getting sued.  I couldn't figure out if you were homeless or sleeping on the couch of a friend or if you had your own place.  I tried to be polite and find something in common to talk about, but there wasn't really anything there.  Plus your BFF is a smoker. Which leads me to believe that you are probably a closet smoker to. Definite. turn. off.

So, to up your game, you decided to start touching me.  You legit asked to hold my hand at least 5 times.  I was pretty drunk, and yet this was still so awkward.  Sitting there, at TBMF, holding a strangers hand.  But your most annoying habit was by far trying to take my sunglasses off me to "look me in the eyes."  I don't give a crap if you need eye contact.  We are outside, in the sun. I want my sunglasses on.  And since it's my face and my sunglasses, I make the decisions.  I seriously thought I was going to have a meltdown if you didn't stop touching them.

And then you went ahead and straight up asked for a kiss. I said no. You kissed my cheek anyway.  And by kissed, I mean you full out molested my cheek.  It felt like you were licking my check. Nasty.

But, even my repulsion at that did not deter you.  You asked me to kiss you again, on the bus on the way home, in front of everyone. Again, I declined.  You asked if you could kiss me again. I said no, but you did it again anyway.  Ick.  And then, for good measure, you held my hand. Again.

After the concert, at the pool party, you got up to move seats to be near me again.  So I removed myself from the group and hung out at the other end of the pool. But you followed me! By this time, I was sober and in no mood for anymore of your shenanigans.  I was tired of you asking me out in theory: (will you go out with me? without a when/where/etc.... man up already).  Luckily, C (plan B's friend) came to my rescue numerous times at the pool to get me away from you.

And, I think you are traveling so, I hope you will forget me in the mean time.  Because I was embarrassed for you on Saturday.

-W