another of H's best of moments... you didn't think we would only have one makeout competition in our lives, did you?
Nashville. Home of Country Music. Where Summer 2007 all started. I was in Nashville for work and I happened to be traveling with approximately 30 other coworkers-- all my age. Now, it is important for you to know that I work at a male dominated company. I work with few females and most of my friends are male. This is not a problem-- unless you're trying to make out at the bar. Somehow being surrounded by guys does not exactly send other guys running to talk to me. Therefore, I have employed some creative tactics to use my male friends in my favor. This is a complex maneuver but it can be pulled off. Read closely and learn, young grasshopper.
M is a coworker of mine. He's a funloving guy, down for whatever. He likes to make out at the bar too. Great. We challenge each other to a make out contest. Let's see who can make out with the most people in one night. The first bar we go into has Navy men IN UNIFORM all over the place. I look at M and tell him he's going down. Now, if you're familiar with Summer 2005 and me in general, you know I have a weak spot for the Navy boys. I don't know why but it is what it is.
I tell M that I have a great idea. I want to use him as my wingman and I have the perfect ploy-- M poses as my boyfriend. Ok, at this point you're probably confused. "I thought this was a makeout contest-- why would you want M posing as your boyfriend?" Stay with me here. I explain to M that he will pose as my boyfriend...my boyfriend who is into watching me make out with random dudes at the bar. You follow?
So I tell M to walk with me to get a drink and I'll pick out which Navy guy I want on the way. Once we get to the bar I have one picked out. He walks up to the bar shortly after and I approach him immediately (with M by my side). I introduce myself and M (as my boyfriend). I think his name was Joe, lets just go with that. Joe gives me a confused look as to why I came up to him. I explain that M is into watching me make out with random dudes at the bar, and I thought he was cute and wanted to know if he'd be into it.
Joe immediately says that he was "given specific instructions not to get into a fight tonight." I told him he had nothing to worry about because M was ok with it, as long as he was. So, of course, we make out. He was a pretty good kisser too (score). M eventually wanders off and Joe and I head to the dancefloor. Now don't forget that all my coworkers are at this bar with us, including my boss. I made sure that my boss didn't see me making out, I mean I do have a professional image to maintain! Joe and I proceed to grind on the dance floor as coworkers watch in amusement. See, they have always known me in a relationship and this is their first glimpse at "Single That Girl." Eventually our group decides to migrate to a new bar. Joe's friends were going somewhere different and neither of us wanted to leave our group. We parted ways.
Score:
That Girl - 1
M - 0
The next bar is where M earned a point. He made out with a bridesmaid at a bachelorette party. Cheap win, but he earned it. While at this second bar we met this chick. She was cool and hanging out with our group so we invite her to go onto the next bar with us.
Score:
That Girl - 1
M - 1
This was the final bar of the night. M & I are neck & neck in the competition. The chick from the previous bar is with us. At this point most of the other coworkers (including boss man) have headed back to the hotel. M is dancing with this girl we met and I call her over. I whisper to her that M & I are in a competition and he's going to try to make out with her to win. It was the end of the night and I probably wasn't going to get a chance to catch up. She agreed to not make out with him and continued to dance with him. M went in for the kiss and she dodged. He had a confused look on his face as she walked away and high fived me on the way out. M was pissed.
He ran to the upstairs part of the bar and instantly started dancing with the first chick he could find. I could tell M meant business and was going to make out with anything with a vagina. I saw a guy sitting at a table closeby and introduced myself. As we were talking he mentions that hes from Annapolis. I happen to know that the Naval Academy is in Annapolis. I ask him he happens to go to the Naval Academy. He says he used to. I'm not sure if I should believe him because he saw my eyes light up when he said Annapolis (again, the Navy thing). I told him that if he could prove that he went to the Naval Academy, I'd make out with him. He looked kind of surprised and began to dig through his wallet. He eventually came up with an id card. I shrugged my shoulders and kissed him. We started talking a little more and I noticed M looking at me. So in mid-conversation I make out with him again while maintaining eye contact with M, just so he knows I'm on #2.
A few minutes later the bar is closing. I say bye to the Navy dude and head out with M. He says he never made out with the chick on the dance floor.
Score:
That Girl - 2
M - 1
Yes, what I did was total and complete cockblocking. Especially considering how he was my wingman earlier in the night. But you know how it goes.. all is fair in love & make out contests!
H
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