Dear Boyz In DC,

So, as you know, I headed up to DC this weekend to meet up with old friends.

Friday night:
- started drinking in Dupont with a guy I met on a plane two years ago.  Kinda proves just how random my life really is.  At some point we get separated from him and his friends.  And a bouncer comes up and says to come with him.  I honestly thought for a second we were about to get kicked out of the bar.  Nope, he wants us to dance on the bar.  Given the number of creepers being too touchy-feely on the dance floor, we happily obliged.  After we get down, we had about 5 shots waiting for us.  So we took them all (pretty sure that wasn't the smartest decision).  And then, we decided we were over that bar and the creepers therein.  So we left and went to the Big Hunt.  There we met 3 guys. My particular dude was a radiology resident named Brian.  Made out with him.  And then we left and went back to P's apartment.

Dr. Brian

Saturday night:
- P and I go for dinner and drinks in Georgetown.  Then we head back to Dupont to meet some of her friends out.  It was the hottest and disgustingly crowded. P gets a text from the guy she met the night before. He says he is having a party at his house.  We walk over to his place.  His version of a party was him and some 12 year old with a white guy fro. Seriously. WTF. Steve, P's guy, introduces us to the 12 year old "This is W. She doesn't bang.  And this is P. She bangs."

Holy shit. Who does that?!?!  Apparently P had told him the night before about how I don't put out.  I guess that is the only thing he could remember about me... Sad.  So after awkwardly sitting there for a few minutes, we head to the bar with these two fools.  Along the way P gets a text.  Steve accidentally texted her instead of the 12 year old.  His text said "nasty. lets ditch them and find new girls at the bar" so clearly I was ready to peace out. But no, P wanted to "confront him."  So I let her do that while I stood there and stared longingly at the Krispy Kreme across the street.  12 year old bought me a beer.  Thanks for asking me what I wanted, dude. I don't drink beer. So I put a koozie on it and sat it on the counter.  And then I spotted a GUY with a koozie.  No shit.  And he sees me pointing at him.

So I talk to Koozie (real name Brian) and his friends Mike and Matt.  And these three amigos did some crazy ninja wingman moves that I had never seen before.  Seriously, they had a system whereby each of them would be left alone with me for a few minutes, to try and get me to come home with them.  To Maryland.  You cannot make this up.  After I declined all three, it was about time to go.

 But then Nick and Vick approached me.  Nick is a doctor from New Orleans in DC for a conference.  And he had quite possibly the best wingman of all time in Vick.  Vick actively encouraged Nick, talked up his friend, got my number, the works.  But alas, closing time occurred way too soon, so it was time to leave.

I had hurt my ankle last weekend so I was wearing an ankle brace and high heels.  So Nick, being the gentleman he was, offered to carry me all the way to our car.  Word.  He was a really really nice guy.  And very cute.  Vick carried my bag and whined way more about how heavy it was.   But seriously, Nick and Vick, two great guys. In fact, they were the ONLY guys who didn't inappropriately touch or ask me to go home with them during the entire trip. They invited us out for late night food, but P had  a booty call to get to, so we left them and headed home.

And the quote of the weekend goes to Steve who was apparently miffed that I was not into the 12 year old.  Steve told P "I have never seen anyone get hit on as much as your friend."  Sorry for partying, Steve.

-W.