Dear Match,

another guest entry, but one that will keep you laughing, especially tomorrow when I post his 100 outrageous promises!

Dear Match the habitual liar,

 Match and I met in a bar exchanged numbers and then went on out first date. First date we meet at a nice restaurant dinner is great conversation is great we really have chemistry. Important things to note from conversation that will be important later in the story. 1. He says he is 28. 2. He says he graduated law school and works for the ITC (govt). 3. He says his last name is J*****.

So date 1 goes well I do the ass out hug bc I want to come off as sweet and hard to get. Date 2 ensues and we make out a bit. Date 3 we make out a lot. Things are going good and I have not pulled out my whore side (meaning I'm keeping my knees together). We start hanging out consistently and then I leave for vacation in the islands. 7 days without a cell phone. I'm sure as hell not paying international fees. So we are able to email back and forth. His email address being Austin.j****@gmail.com. (I'm getting the the releavance if this) Back from the islands, he asks me to be his girlfriend and explains how he sees falling in love and blah blah.

Now about 2 months have passed. We are hanging out all the time and I practically live at his place. Well one night I ask a random question about how he is out of the loop being on facebook. (he said he wasn't and I could never find him). Then shit hits the fan. He tells me he is in love with me and then explains how he is really only 23 and in law school and is a part-time (read: intern) for the ITC. The kicker is he his last name is not even J***** but spelled completely different and with a G!

Even though it's a huge red flag, I decide really what's the age and how superficial would I be if I dumped him because he is a law student. So we work things out and all is good. Jump to the summer when he leaves for NYC for his summer job at a big law firm. I get to visit and make a couple long weekend vacations. A couple red flags appear that I apparently miss. The night he was out and kept ignoring my phone calls until almost 4am. I was drunk and I am a determined drunk you ignore my phone call (I know this because it only rings twice and goes to voicemail). I've called you a million times I know your phone, I'm not an idiot! You finally call me at 5am and say you had to take a friend home all the way to the Bronx or something. Right still don't believe you but whatever. I then get angry at you at your company dinner cruise because you were trying to be all cool and treat me like a colleague and not your girlfriend. I should have gotten back on the train and left your ass then and there. You once again talk your way back in my good graces and take care of me when I have the worst migraine ever while in NYC. Not the place for a migraine.

All is well again and we have a nice time through the holidays. You come home for thanksgiving. We have a nice gift exchange at christmas but something is off and I can't pinpoint it. You come back from christmas and start back to classes. It is your last semester and you already have a job offer in NYC. You are always saying your studying or you frequent happy hours at inconvenient for me to join times. But you always come over or I always come to your place so no big deal. You ask me to move to NYC with you. I am thrilled and immediately start to think how I can transfer within my company and find us an amazing apartment.

Then the light turns to dark. My roommate approaches me at happy hour. She has something to tell me but doesn't know how to do it. She finally tells me she found you on match.com and the pictures were from us in NYC, profile also stating he had been active within 24hrs. I immediately then go to his apartment unannounced and he is studying. I demand to know whats going on. He denies and denies.


So my roommate took screenshots and emailed them. Match says someone is playing a mean joke. Oh really let me see your phone. He continues to not show me so I pack all my stuff and I'm about to leave when he gives in. What I find burried deep in his email are emails from random girls. And one email specifically saying which day of the week for each of these girls.

So after about a week of me trying to wrap my head around everything that I just found I finally get up the nerve to say "I'm done" this is not before I get a beautiful Lilly puitzer handbag plus lots of flowers. Match still sends me flowers in hopes of one day getting me back. He also sent a very lavish valentines day gift (I hate this day with a passion). I exchanged the tiffany's necklace for something that wasn't a heart and I used the spa gift certificate for a very lovely massage and facial. (editor's note. this was my favorite part of the story, keeping the tiffany's but getting rid of the sentiment! -W)


For a good two months after that, I continued to receive things from him.   I recently received a package left at the front desk of my building. And 2 dozen long stem roses. The package has 2 books I let Match borrow and 2 relationship books. Look buddy I don't need those you need those get the picture. On top of it 10 page hand written note (hello psycho!), a list of 100 reasons I love you and 100 promises I make to you. (Wait til you guys get to read those tomorrow!  they don't disappoint!!!)
And I'm on to the next.

P