Dear Choir Boy,

You were cute enough on eharmony.  You also work at a church, which is kinda hot.  What isn't so hot?  Your Bi-Polar personality.

I gave you my digits via email.  The next day I got a "Good morning beautiful" via text at 8am.  Smooth on the texting, you were. Right up until you texted me that you are living with your mother, albeit temporarily.  Seriously, who does that?!?

 But when you wanted to set up a date, I requested you actually call me to set it up.  It was the worst 10 minute conversation ever. 

You said uh, um, and sat there in silence too many times to count.  Every conversation avenue I tried, you squashed with your complete inability to carry on a conversation.  You mentioned how much you make (which wasn't impressive).  You were perhaps one of the most awkward people on the phone I've ever met.  Somehow you manage to ask me out for the weekend.  The only time slot I have available is Sunday after church for lunch. I think you agree, but I'm not really sure.

Saturday rolls around, and you texted me, but about having a nice day.  Saturday night got out of hand with A's birthday party and all.  I was a bit hungover Sunday morning, so when I hadn't heard from you by 11am, I made other plans.  

Around 2pm I got no less than 3 emails from you saying that you accidentally deleted my phone number on Saturday night, and would I still like to do something.  These emails were sent via eharmony, your work email, and your student email.  Eharmony has my phone number.  As does the footer in my reply gmails.  If you had really forgotten my number or deleted it or whatever, you could have easily found it.

I sent an email back saying that sorry, I had plans for the rest of the day (which was true) and maybe another time (read: not in this lifetime).  No response from you.

I didn't hear from you, but then low and behold Tuesday morning you ask me via text if I'm having a good week. I reply "yes and you?"  You send a text back with something about your work.  It was a statement about having lots of services because of Easter week.  Nothing conversational about it.  So I don't reply.

When I get home and check my eharmony messages I have one from you that states:

I am assuming from your lack of interest that you are not interested. I am getting off eharmony. I wish you all the best and go pack.

Weird, I thought, since he is the one that technically stood me up.  I didn't respond because I had to get to Bible study.  But I assumed, again, that since he had written me the goodbye eharmony note, it was a closed deal.

But then today, you text and say "want to grab dinner or lunch this week?"

Seriously, wtf. No.

-W