Dear John Who?

The next guy on the Summer 2005 Roster was John Sjeawsirelsdskj (seriously, his last name was something ridiculous so I never bothered trying to learn it).  I met him at the pool at the apartment complex.  Literally.  He got my number, and since he had a hot body, an accent, smart (PhD student), and a hot accent (he's from Turkey) I accepted a date request. Ok, ok I would have accepted for any of those reasons and a free meal.

John, John, John,

You made so many mistakes, its hard to know where to begin.  So let's start with our first date.  Dinner and a movie. Boring.  After our date, my friends wanted to go out.  You agreed to tag along, which was weird for a first date, but you were going to DD, so I agreed.  We roll to the bar.  At some point in the night you disappear. I head to the bathroom, and see you standing there, making out with horrors, a girl from the fat girl sorority. WTF?  You see me, and immediately push away from her and follow me to the bathroom apologizing and saying how she cornered you.  Yeah, right.

When I leave the bathroom, you were standing there.  But so was Stem, like the dating gods were smiling down on me.  So, I did what any girl would do.  I walked right up to Stem and made out with him.  The look on your face was priceless.  Don't mess with me.

I would like to say that's the last time we hung out, but it wasn't.  I strung you along for a few more weeks, basically using you for the attention.  There were lots of awkward moments.

There was the time you wanted to make out, and I wasn't feeling it.  And you were like "we've already made out, why don't you want to now?"  And that's when I told you "um about that... that was a mistake."  That's right. I told you that you were a mistake. To your face.  AND YOU STILL KEPT CALLING.  I caught a break when you went back to Turkey for a while.  But as soon as you returned... you KEPT CALLING.

In fact, you happened to call me when I was on my way home from Florida visiting the Jacksonville Sun (don't worry, there will be a future entry on that).  You had only been gone a few weeks, and when I answered my phone you were all chipper and asking me out, now that you had returned stateside.  I believe my exact words were "John who?"  much to the amusement of the girls in the car.  I had apparently forgotten you existed in a matter of weeks. Awkward.

I went to the mailbox one day and saw the MBA student (the grand big's boyfriend) and you both getting your mail.  Apparently we all lived in the same small apartment complex. Awesome. I turned me and my dog around.  The mail can wait.  Awkward.

Then, there was the time I went to a movie with H, after I told you I was busy.  And you sat two rows in front of me.  Awkward.

And then, to top it all off, I was walking my dog one day when I hear my name. Being yelled out.  Across the parking lot.  I turn, but I don't see anyone.  That's when you got out of a car and come running over to ask me out. Again.  That's right, you were "hanging out the passenger side of your best friend's ride, trying to holler at me."  No, John Who, I don't want no scrub.