Spelling Bee Champ & Stem

The next guy on the roster from Summer 2005's Great Underwear Contest was Stem.  Well, that's what I called him anyway.  I think his real name started with a J.  But I could be just making that up.  Generally when I am asked by some random if I remember their name, I usually say "it starts with a J".  This is because so many guy's names start with a J (Josh, John, Jonathan, James, Jake, etc) that you are usually right.  He got the nickname Stem because that was the town he was from.  I kid you not.  Stem, NC.  It's right next to Shoofly.  Don't believe me?  Google it.  I know I did the night I met this kid.

Anyway, I met Stem while in line for Rum Runners one night.  H (the bff) and I had gone to Rum Runners later than usual so had to wait in line.  In front of us was Spelling Bee Champ (SBC - his shirt said "spelling bee champ" so the nickname kind of stuck) and behind us was Stem.  Since we had to wait in line for hours, we struck up conversations with these boys.  And being in competition mode, we ended up making out with Stem and SBC by the end of the night.  Stem and I had almost nothing in common, so while we talked on the phone some, there were no sparks and consequently, no good stories (Stem plays into a plot with another guy on the roster).  H, on the other hand, went out with SBC a few times.  Here is her story, written in 2005, on how that ended:

Don't Let the Door Hit Ya, Where the Good Lord Split Ya.....
So as many of you already know, I'm giving Mike (Duke MBA student aka Spelling Bee Champ) the proverbial boot. He's just not cutting it anymore. We've been on 4 dates total over the past 2 months (well I'm a busy girl, what do you expect). The first two were good. Wait let me take that back. The first half of the second date was good. Let's examine where home fry made some crucial mistakes....

Date one, we went to dinner. Ok very normal first date. Dates #2 & #3 included alcohol and or a bar/club. Sorry buddy, strike one. If you can't take me to dinner then please think of something creative. Trying to give me alochol on half of our dates sends the wrong impression. My nick name is cheap n' easy, not dumb n' stupid ok? (Some of you know what cheap n' easy really means, for those of you who are thinking of it in a bad way, shame on you!).

This little sceneario is what I like to call "drapps" aka drinks & appetizers. Stupid girls will fall for this and think you're actually taking them out. Smart girls will eat beforehand because they know about your trick and won't go out with you anymore.

Furthermore, this guy somehow thinks I am the kind of girl who would sleep with him on a second date. I guess he didn't get the memo. Nor does he pay too much attention to my personality. He ends up looking like an idiot naked as a jay bird while I tell him in true H fashion "We are NOT having sex..." (for those of you who were present, think of the same tone used in "I did NOT bite you!")... Strike two, what the fuck is this guy thinking.

Now, I know I should have broken it off at that point but I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean he is, after all, just a man. (Strike one on my part, I should have known. Lessons learned I suppose).

The final straw. He's the world's worst kisser I am convinced. (Yes W, even worse than the fish style kiss). If you'd like a demonstration please ask next time you see me. Words cannot describe it, it's truly horrendous. Only a live demonstration can do it justice. I promise you're cringe and say "ew" or something to that effect.
You would think that someone who is 28 years old and highly educated would have some damn sense wouldn't you? Looks like life strikes again.

Want to know what the final nail in his coffin was? He tells me he wants to have me over so he can cook dinner for me. If that's not code for "I'm going to try to sleep with you again and I'm stupid enough to think you actually will," I don't know what is.

With that said, home fry still doesn't know he's being cut off yet. I'm hoping by some act of god he'll stop calling me but I know that won't happen. Looks like I have to break it to him gently and tell him "I'm just not that into you..."