Dear Rugby Team,

I know when you invited me and a bunch of my sisters to a party you were expecting to meet girls.  I know when we got drunk and were flirty and friendly towards you, it probably stroked your ego.  But what I did not know, is that 2 of you would form an unwelcome attraction to me.  Isn't that against the guy code or something?

I went out one night during Summer 2005.  It was not part of the makeout contest, because I was so sunburned from the beach that I literally couldn't wear anything but a soft cotton dress that barely touched my skin.  So I went to this party purely to drink and hang out with my friends.

Unfortunately, I think the entire rugby team was single at that time. R1 (Rugby dude #1) talked to me.  But he was short (read: troll) so while I was polite enough to give him my number, I really wasn't all that into him.  So I found it odd that he always kept calling.  He even kept calling to invite me over to parties at his place on the regular.  I took a date to one of these parties once.  AND HE STILL KEPT CALLING.  This makes me lose all respect for a guy.  Sorry R1.

R2 (Rugby guy #2) turned out to be almost as short (troll, again), but fat as well. LOVELY.  And he apparently did not make an impression on me, or get my phone number that fateful night.  But giving this creeper his proper credit, he apparently took detailed notes on whatever I talked to him about that night... 

Because the next day, I'm sitting at my reception desk on campus, minding my own business, when this fool walks up.  I don't even recognize this kid.  We had met approximately 8 hours ago. I had ZERO recollection.    After awkwardly explaining that we met the night before at the rugby party, this fool continues to stand there and talk to me.  I am the receptionist, it is my job to sit there and talk to people and answer phones.  I was trapped.  He stands to the side when other people come up, and just stares at me when I am on the phone.  And then continues to try and make small talk. Which is hard when he remembers everything about me, but I don't know him from a hole in the wall.  It was soooo awkward.

After literally standing in front of my desk for an hour, my boss starts to get creeped out, and she finally asks me to come help her with something in the copy room. THANK GOD.
And no, you still didn't get my number.