WayBack Wednesday: The Night of the Ninja Turtle

* Since I am a busy girl and it is not possible for me to go on dates for your entertainment seven days a week, occasionally I will share with you a true dating story from a previous time in my life and/or a true dating story submitted from one of your fellow readers.  All will be hilarious. I promise.

Dear Ninja Turtle,

I don't even know where to begin.  We had been "hanging out" for a few weeks, but were not in any way, shape, or form in a relationship.  Indeed, I cannot imagine any relationship where what you did would be deemed acceptable behavior.  It was our senior year in college (2004).  It was not halloween.  That is an important detail here.

I had gone to a friend's party that night.  I was dropped off along with my best friend, H, in our apartment complex.  She walked over to her apartment, while I headed up the 3 flights of stairs to my apartment.  As I climb the stairs, I notice these weird scraps of fabric.  I assumed my neighbors must be having some sort of party.  As I round the last flight of stairs, I see an orange mask laying on the stairs.  Like I said, it wasn't halloween.  So that was a little perplexing.

As I reach the top of my stairs, my neighbor, who was incidentally having a party, comes out to tell me that I have an interesting visitor at my door.  I round the corner, and sure enough, there is a passed out ninja turtle at my door. W.T.F.?!?

I proceeded to kick/tapp you with my foot, until you moaned and rolled over.  And that's when i recognized you as, well, you.  You were passed out.  Completely.  So, I did what any other girl would do.  I called H and told her she HAD to come back over to see what was on my door step.  H was getting ready for bed, it was in the wee hours of the morning, and I had to convince her that it would be worth it.

H comes over, and you are still passed out.  And you refused to stand up and come inside my apartment, or call a friend for a ride home.  So we decided to have fun with you.  My dog ate pieces of bread off your face and gave you lots of kisses.  We painted your fingernails in hot pink.  I also believe eye shadow was involved.  You never woke up.  We eventually got bored, H went home, and I took my dog into my bedroom, locked the door, and left you on my living room floor.

The next day I had to be on campus really early, I think for bid day, so I got up and got dressed and walked into my living room to find you awake, still dressed in your ninja turtle outfit.  When it was time for me to go, I agreed to give you a ride home.  Luckily, when we arrived at your apartment, it was broad daylight and many people were milling about to witness you do the walk of shame in your Ninja Turtle get-up.  I made sure to park extra far away from your front door so that everyone could witness the full effect of the Ninja Turtle at 9am on a Saturday, not during Halloween.

Update:
- When I moved out of the apartment, my dad was moving my couch and he found under the seat cushion my sister's bra, and a pair of your nunchucks (sp?).  The look on my dad's face was priceless.  Hilarious!
- If you live in the DC area, I believe that Ninja Turtle is providing you with your local weather... I bet you never look at your weatherman the same way again...


Recap:
brownie points: weathermen are strangely attractive?
strikes: coming over uninvited; in costume; passing out
dealbreakers: Ninja turtle costume