Playing Possum

Dear Guy-I-Don't-Want-To-Date,

When I changed my phone number, and you weren't informed, it was because I was not interested in you.  So when you see me at a bar, flirting with other guys, and you try to call me and the number has been disconnected, it is probably not a smart idea on your part to try and follow up with our mutual friend.

As it happened, I was waiting on pizza with A and her boyfriend, post-bar.  I was sitting in her living room when you called her asking about me.  When you asked to speak to me, A said "W, he wants to talk to you."  At which point, I rolled down onto the floor. Face down, and refused to move or speak.  A told you that I had fallen asleep and you guys hung up.  At which point, I sat straight up and asked when the pizza was arriving.  I had just resorted to "playing possum" to avoid talking to you.  That is code for "not-interested."

Ladies, this is a great trick. I highly recommend it to you.  It worked like a charm. You're welcome.

Recap:
brownie points: decent dresser
strikes & dealbreakers: brought up your threesome within 2 minutes of meeting me